It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
