He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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