i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
