My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
handjob tips. give me some.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
