So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
