can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
