Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
