Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
