She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
