I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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