Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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