Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
420 ftw
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
