I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
