is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
