And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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