She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
