I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This baby is an asshole
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
