69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
