I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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