so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He passed out mid-signature
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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