i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Let's paint friendship bongs
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
