your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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