what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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