drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Can I color on your dick again?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
