hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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