I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
