This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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