i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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