just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have fence marks all over my body
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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