i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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