i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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