Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
