i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
