Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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