She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
