So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
