OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
