Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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