im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize