He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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