Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
