She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
