There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
pray to the hookup gods
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
