How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
