hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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