And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
