so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
