There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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