nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
