It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Vodka?
Forever.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
