It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
