WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
