i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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