we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
