this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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