wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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