Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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