glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
