You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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