I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
