Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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